One More Week

Another week almost over and that much closer to Christmas break for the kids. I'm so ready and of course so are they. The kids always get so tired right before this break.

I am getting very close to being done with our shopping. I'm done with three of the kids and just have Stephen to shop for. Oh, I do still need to get Landon something Thomas because he thinks he's getting something Thomas and so far I haven't gotten him that. I guess he remembers all the Thomas stuff he got last year. I still need to buy for two nephews and two nieces, one teacher, one family name I drew and Kinley's gift for her school party. I ordered Jose' a calendar from Snapfish and got him some DVDs he's been wanting but still need to get his big gift, a GPS system. I'll wait until I get paid next week to get that. I want to pay for it myself.

I have most of the Christmas cards ready to mail. I'll do the last few in the morning and get them out tomorrow. I love mail days in December! I look forward to getting cards and seeing everyone's pictures. I get mad on days the mailman doesn't bring me any cards LOL.

Stephen started college last week. He moved in the first day by himself but Jose' and I went over there the next night and shopped some with him and helped him fix up his room. We hung some black curtains, put down a big rug, a floor lamp, a couple of chairs and some pictures. Stephen paid for all of it but the big chair. He has a private room...I'm really glad about that. I didn't like the idea of his stuff being open to anyone who came and went with the room mate.

Landon has his OT evaluation this week. It took three days to get it all done because once he lost interest there was no finishing and I don't like pushing him too hard. I was very irritated with the lady on the second day. She was not prepared at all and wasted a lot of time trying to figure out what she was suppose to be doing, finding the cards she needed out of a big stack and even cutting out stuff she needed. You would think since she knows she's going to be working with a child with attention issues she would have everything she needed ready. After an hour and 45 minutes we still weren't done and Landon was very frustrated...was even biting his hand. She said we still had one more book to get through :-0. I asked her what the book was on and she said communication. I told her we've been here for almost two hours and he's biting his hand...how do YOU think he's gonna do on communication. She said probably not too good so said I could come back the next morning to finish. I wasn't letting her push him any further at that point. Luckily, this is not the lady who will be doing his OT each week. I realized during these three days of the evaluation that he is going to have to have some help. I took him back to the doctor and asked to try him on some medication but she said she can't prescribe anything without talking to the doctor who diagnosed him. She called him the next morning and he said he'd have to see him again first. WHY? He's already seen and diagnosed him. What is another meeting going to show/tell him that he doesn't already know. ****BIG Sigh**** So, we have an appointment next week with him and then we'll see what happens from there.

I guess that's about all that's been going on. My sister told me I better start updating at least once or twice a week or I will lose any readers I might have. I don't know that I have that many but I don't want those to give up on me so I will try to do better.

I'll leave you with a few pictures taken recently.

Landon with his teacher.

Thanksgiving 2008

We had a perfect Thanksgiving day at my sister's house yesterday. It was our year to be at my Dad's house but since he's in Indiana Sherri and I decided there was no reason why our families couldn't get together. We decided to do it at her house since she has more room. Jose' fried our turkey and made the dressing and I was suppose to make the broccoli, cheese and rice casserole but he ended up making that too. He likes to cook, I guess. Sherri made a seven layer salad, sweet potatoe casserole, homemade mac and cheese, rolls and two pumpkin pies. Actually, Kinley and Madison made the pies.

We managed to get some family pictures before we ate and I even liked one enough to use as our Christmas card. This is the second year in a row Jose' and I have gotten in the picture. For years I just put the kids on our cards. Here's the picture I used.

We also got a picture of both our families together. Sherri got her neighbor to come over and take it for us....oh well, I can't get that picture to load.

Here is Kaylyn and I.Me with my twin sister, Sherri. After we ate Jose' and Jeff played video games and Sherri, Stephen and I played Spades for a couple of hours. I'm glad Jose' enjoyed himself so much and didn't mind staying as long as we did. The only thing that would have made the day better is if all our family could have been there.
I had more pictures I wanted to share but just can't get a lot of them to load. I have that problem a lot.

I'm so happy our families could be together for Thanksgiving. It's been a long time since we were all together like that. We vacationed together but Stephen wasn't with us.

Thank you Sherri and Jeff for having us at your house and for a perfect Thanksgiving day :-).

Stephen is home :-)

After six months Stephen is finally home for good. Six months!! Those first two and a half months were the hardest for me. He was in Arizona alone except for my brother, but he wasn't staying with them. He was in an apartment with a few other guys that he didn't even know until he got there. He was paying rent, buying his own groceries, cooking for himself, washing his clothes...everything. I am so proud of him and so glad he's HOME. He'll start school in December so we'll have a few weeks with him home.

He brought the new Guitar Hero home with him. Landon was SO excited! He's really good at playing but also just likes to sit and watch Stephen play. Landon was a little jealous when Stephen first got home. Everytime I'd hug Stephen or spend too much time with him Landon would want me to pick him up or would hang onto me. He's not use to sharing me with another son :-).

Here are a few pictures I took of them all playing last night.

Look at my sons :-). Makes me so happy to see them together. Landon most likely won't have any memories of Stephen living here. I have to explain why there is so much stuff on my living room floor. Most of it is stuff Stephen brought in but all the stuff beside the front door is my sister's bags...they spent the weekend and were getting ready to leave.

Stephen, Landon and my nephew Carter watching above and

Kaylyn and her boyfriend, Zach, below.

It's funny how when Stephen is home the whole atmosphere of the house changes. It's louder, a little messier and just feels right :-). I slept good last night knowing all my kids were under the same roof.

Our week so far

I got up Monday morning and went to work and sent Landon to school. I didn't want to but he had been asking me all weekend if he was going and saying he wanted to go. I can't keep him home if he's asking to go. I don't think he'd be asking to go if he were miserable or even feeling mistreated. When I asked after school if he'd had a good day they said he had one rough spot after morning recess and even told the aide he hated her but after that was fine. She said he did come back later and tell her he was sorry and that he loved her. She also said he had went up to one of the boys in his class who was sitting in his desk and kept pushing him. I told her I want him to learn he can't do that but also wanted the aide to understand that he wasn't doing it to be mean. In the book I'm reading, Look Me in the Eye, the man telling the story is talking about when he was a kid he'd hit or push to try to get a friend to play with him. The problem was he just really didn't know how to get other kids to play with him.

The past two mornings have been good because I've actually gotten him to eat all his oatmeal for breakfast. It feels so great sending him to school with something in his stomach and not worrying all morning that he's hungry. It's taken 11 weeks but I think he's finally gotten use to eating breakfast early.

I'm not suppose to have to work on Thursdays but my boss is going to be gone Friday so is going to do payroll tomorrow and wants me to be there. So, I'll go in early and work an hour then I have to come home because a lady is coming to my house tomorrow to talk about Landon and the services that are available to him. If I miss this appointment we won't get another one until December. Landon has to be here for that meeting so I guess I'll just take him to work with me in the morning and then take him to school afterward.

The fair is this week so of course it started raining yesterday. It always ALWAYS rains while the fair is here. It wouldn't seem like the fair if we weren't walking on wet, muddy hay that they've thrown all over the fair grounds. Sherri and her kids are coming Friday and we'll go to the fair Saturday. We all have our rubber boots ready :-). Landon is saying he doesn't want to go so if he still doesn't want to when the time comes he can stay with Jose'. In five years he's never once rode a fair ride.

So, that's what's been going on and is going on here. I'm ready for the weekend to get here.

Still not sure

I have no idea what to do and feel like I'm all alone in making a decision. Landon is not doing well in school and instead of things getting better they seem to be getting worse. Last week he had a rough day Monday and when I picked him up his teacher told me he'd said a bad word, a real bad one, to her in class in front of the other kids. It was a word we do not use in our house but I'm sure he heard it on the t.v. on some of the movies Jose' watches. I talked to Landon about it and told him that was a very bad word and not to ever use it again. He sit there a minute and then said "Is shit a bad word too?" He said next time he'll say dang it instead. So, that was Monday. Tuesday I got a call at work around 1:00 from the counselor asking if I could go ahead and come pick Landon up because he'd had another really bad day. He'd spent most of the day in either her office in the time out chair or the principle's office. He had thrown dirt at one kid and kicked another one at recess. Now, I don't condone him kicking or throwing dirt but I wasn't surprised to hear it was a second grade boy that has been picking on him. I've even seen this boy picking on him at the football games. I asked the teacher was she sure he wasn't just fighting back and she said the teachers on duty didn't think so. I wonder.

She asked me was he on any medicine for the cold he's had and I told her yes. She said maybe the medicine was making him irritable and I told her I don't give it to him in the mornings so he won't be tired and she said maybe it's residual from having taken it the night before. I really don't think so. He's on an antibiotic, allergy medicine and Musinex. She asked if I could keep him home until he's done with his medicine. So, that's what I did. I missed work the rest of the week and he missed the next three days of school. Am I going to have to keep him home every time he's on medicine?

So, I'm trying to decide what to do. Do I want to keep sending him to school where he's getting in trouble all the time, making the teacher's jobs hard, not really learning much and where I think his spirit is being broken. Or, do I pull him out now and homeschool him for a while? I know I could do it. I think I could even have him ready for first grade. What I wish is that everyone would stop telling me how wrong that would be to do that to him. How he NEEDS to be in school and how he'll never get use to it if I take him out. He's been in school for TEN weeks and he's not use to it yet. It's not a case of him getting use to it...why can't people understand that? I know they are just trying to help by giving me their oppinion but they don't know Landon and they don't know how hard it is to keep sending him up there.

I need to find out if he will still be able to get OT if he's not in the school system. I don't want to lose any help we are trying to get. I'll call Monday and talk to his social worker to fiind out these things. Landon has been asking me for the past few days if he's going to school and wanting to go so then I wonder, if he was miserable there would he be asking to go back?

I don't know what I'm gonna end up doing but I will probably go ahead and send him Monday and give it one more try. I need time to call and make sure he's not going to lose the help he's getting. But, if I am called one more time or if my instincts keep telling me he shouldn't be there then I will do what I think is right for Landon and try not to hear what everyone is saying.

What I'm Thankful For

I'm thankful for Jose' for being the provider that he is, working so hard and never complaining about it. I'm thankful that I got to stay home with my kids for 14 years and during that time he carried the whole financial load for our family...without ever making me feel guilty for being home. I'm thankful that he loves me so much and hardly a day goes by that he doesn't tell me how beautiful I am or how much he appreciates me. I'm thankful that even though things have been hard in the past at times right NOW they are good...we are good.

I'm thankful for my first born, my oldest son Stephen. I'm thankful for a very responsible young man who is mature beyond his years. I'm in awe of him leaving three days after graduating high school and driving 22 hours to work, away from home for the whole summer. I'm proud of the money he's made and saved. He has done so much more than most kids his age...so much more. I'm thankful for a son who loves me SO much and who I truly feel is one of my best friends. I am thankful for my oldest daughter, Kaylyn. I am thankful for her sweet spirit and huge smile that brightens everyone's day...everyone who can appreciate it. She tries to see the best in people and has a soft heart for people who are not treated fairly. I'm thankful that she loves God and is trying to live a life that pleases Him. I'm proud of her values and that she is determined to keep them...even when it's really REALLY hard sometimes. I'm thankful for her forgiving spirit which sometimes shows me I could learn a lot from her. I'm thankful that we are not only mother and daughter, but friends. I'm thankful to God for Kinley's life...that's she's still here with us. Not a day goes by that I don't look at her and know how blessed we are that she's here. I'm thankful that she listened to God when he spoke to her and look forward to seeing what he has in store for her life. I'm thankful that Kinley is not a follower and that she doesn't feel the need to do things like other people just to fit in or please them. I am thankful that she still likes to play with her dolls and is not trying to grow up too fast like so many girls her age. I'm thankful for the miracle of Landon's life. I'm thankful that God put it on my heart to have him and to trust Him and never give up. I'm thankful for the love of another son. I'm proud of who he is and I know that he is exactly the little person he is for a reason. God has big plans for Landon and all I can do is be here to help him and again, trust God. I'm thankful that Landon made me feel that our family was finally complete.I'm thankful for my sisters...my best friends. Where would I be if I didn't have them to talk to, cry to, laugh with?? Nobody makes me laugh as hard as they do...till I am crying. I need them and thank God that he gave us each other. I need thier approval and value their oppinions more than anyone else's. Thank you God for my sisters!! Sometimes, like now, when life isn't seeming fair and not much fun we have to remind ourselves how lucky we are. We have to remember what we have to be thankful for and how blessed we are. We should not lose sight of that. I just thought I would share some of what I am thankful for.

Not the best Halloween :-(

I've had a rough couple of days here. Yesterday morning as soon as my feet hit the floor I knew something was wrong. I was just very off balance and felt weird. I tried to go about my morning routine but had to sit down for a bit. When I got up again the whole room started spinning and I felt sick, almost passed out. I made it to Kaylyn's room and lay on her bed and called Jose'. I'm not sure what I wanted him to do. I guess I wanted to hear him say I was okay LOL. I am pretty sure I scared Kaylyn because she's never seen me like that...I was crying. For the next fifteen or twenty minutes I sit on the edge of the bathtub by an open toilet waiting...and waiting, but I just don't throw up easily and didn't. I called my MIL and asked her to please come help me get the kids ready and to school. She did :-). I was very surprised with how well Landon did with the change in routine. After MIL left I took a phenergan and don't remember much else. I thought I had only closed my eyes for a few minutes and it had been two and a half hours. Then before I knew it the kids were home...the day was just gone so fast!

This morning I still felt a little off but got up and ready for work because it's Friday and my boss needs me on Fridays. Plus, it's Halloween and the kids need me and Kaylyn had a pep rally and I wanted to be there for that. But, I got a call from the school at 11:00 asking me to come get Landon because he wasn't feeling good :-(. I knew this morning he didn't feel real good but they were going trick or treating this morning and he was excited about that. Guess that wasn't a good call on my part. They said he enjoyed it, though, so I guess I'm glad he didn't miss out on that....especially since he won't get to go tonight. When I got him home he had 101 fever.

So, I wasn't able to stay all day at work, I sent Landon to school sick, I can't take the kids trick or treating tonight or go to the game with them to trunk or treat and Kinley is unhappy about that and making me feel very guilty and I didn't make it to the pep rally. I am in shut down mode and Jose' is taking up the slack.

***Big Sigh****

A near perfect weekend :-)

Saturday Jose' only had to work until noon. We've not had too many weekends together lately so it was really nice having him home for most of the day. He cooked on the grill...ribs, sausage, boudan (sp?), mushrooms, pork chops and made shrimp dip. Sherri came for the day and night without her kids. So, while Jose' watched the LSU game she and I played cards and ate and ate some more. The kids were playing outside so noone was asking anything of us. Jose's sister, Lena, and her daughter came over for a while too and Kinley enjoyed playing with Grayson. The weather was perfect...just beautiful.

Today, Sunday, we made it to church. It's been a few weeks since we went for one reason or another. After church we went to the in-law's house for a very big get together for Verna (my MIL's) birthday. I didn't realize there were going to be that many people there. It was all Jose's sisters and their families, our family, Kaylyn's boyfriend, SIL's boyfriend, an aunt and her daughter and three kids and another aunt. The only immediate family missing was Stephen, Sil's baby Holden and one BIL. I took the opportunity to take a lot of pictures for MIL's calendar for Christmas. Here are some of them...

Landon with his grandmother.

Me with my inlaws, Rene and Verna.

Kaylyn and Zach...they are so CUTE together :-).

So, the weekend is over and I'm ready for tomorrow. It was a very good weekend with a lot of good family time.

More Landon

We had a meeting yesterday at the school about Landon. It was a committe they have set up that included two teachers, the school counselor and the principle. Other people at the meeting were Jose' and I, Landon's teacher and the social worker assigned to him. The social worker brought a copy of the doctor's report. The school was hoping he would have some guidelines for them to follow in the report but he didn't. The school really wants to help him but this is all so new to them. But, they are trying. The social worker even told me today that she was very impressed with our school and how hard they are working to do right by Landon.

They talked about ways to help him in different situations that are hard for him. They have gotten funding approved to hire a full time aide for him that will stay with him all the time and will even go to the next grade with him. I guess this aide will stay with him until he doesn't need her/him anymore. Another thing they are doing for him is getting him a laptop and some educational games to use at school when he has to be taken out of the classroom. They are also getting him the weighted blanket that I've wanted for him for so long. I've never gotten it because it's so expensive.

I don't like trying to explain to people what Asperger's is. It's hard to explain. There are so many things involved in it and really you have to be around him to see it all. It only took his teacher a few days to pick up on it after he started school. Last night I went on Amazon and ordered three books. I'm hoping after I read them I can get Jose' to read them...even though he hates to read. The books I ordered are...

"Finding Ben: A Mother's Journey Through the Maze of Asperger's"

"The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome: Advice, Support, Insight and Inspiration"

"Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's"

In other news, my job has been cut down to three days a week starting next week. I should be happy about this and about getting to be home two days a week but I'm sad about it. I can't believe how much I enjoy working again and that I never dread going. I love it!! She did say she would call me back every busy season so that's good.

Stephen is in Indiana now with Daddy and Lynn now. He said they are staying in a very nice cabin and it's almost like being on vacation. I hope he's taking pictures. He'll be there for two weeks and then he'll be home for good. He's gotten to see so much since he graduated and has learned a lot. It's been hard on him and on us being away from him but it's been good for him...he's grown up so much.

The kids just got their report cards. Kaylyn had A's, B's and only one C....the best report card she's had in a long time. I am VERY proud of her!! Kinley had only one B and the rest A's :-)....I'm VERY proud of her too. Makes all those nights of homework worth it. We won't talk about Landon's....he's doing the best he can.

I'm looking forward to the weekend :-).

Why?

Why do some kids not have to work as hard as others for what they have?

Why can some kids do wrong and not have to pay the consequences?

Why do MY kids have to work harder than others just because they don't have the right last name?

Why am I always perceived as the trouble maker when I'm just fighting for what's right?

Why are teenage girls so mean?

Why do some teachers and other people in authority not praise our kids when they do well and forget so easily the things they have done well?

Why do some parents believe anything their kids tell them and wear blinders to the bad things their kids are doing? Do they think as long as they ignore the bad behavior it will go away? Are some grown ups really that ignorant?

Why do people have to play favorites?

Why do some teachers tell kids they are not smart and that they should just drop out and get their GED? Yes, my child was told this and she has A's and B's this nine weeks.

Why do some people think the only right way is their way?

Why do bad things happen to good kids?

I could go on and on here but I'm sure most people didn't even make it this far. I am just feeling sorry for myself and my kids today. I'm mad at myself for having really bad feelings toward some people right now. I am not a trouble maker. I don't like anyone being mad at me and try to make peace when I can. But, when my kids are being hurt that's very hard to do. Seems like every day or so one of my kids are being hurt by either a teacher, boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, people in authority, grandparent....I guess even by me and Jose'. I just want them to know that no matter what anyone says to them or does to them WE love them and we think they are GOOD PEOPLE. I don't always agree with their decisions but I know they are good, if given a decent chance.

I guess that's all....

At Daddy's House

Yesterday I felt like a kid again :-). The weather was perfect and reminded me of so many childhood days spending the whole day outside playing. We'd make playhouses in the cotton fields across the road and sometimes, not knowing the danger, would ride on the irrigation thing. For a moment yesterday I was wishing my sisters and I were kids again and were planning out our day of playing.

One of my sister's kids asked me how far they could run out in the empty field and I told them until they get tired :-).

We took a trip out to Daddy's new land he recently bought. After we got there most of us piled into the back of his truck to ride around the land and look. I forgot how fun it is to ride in the back of a truck...it's been a while. Daddy even let us stop and take some pictures :-).

I felt like a kid again!!

My Cheerleaders

It's been fun this school year having two cheerleaders in the family. It's been a big adjustment with Stephen being gone and not having anyone playing football, but we've still been just as busy going to the Varsity and peewee games. Cheerleading is something, really the only thing, Kaylyn and Kinley have in common. So, here are some pictures we've taken this year :-).

This was from the cheerleading camp the Varsity cheerleaders did for the peewee cheerleaders this past summer. Kinley is on the right in purple and Kaylyn in the very middle sitting down.

I had more pictures I wanted to share but either I don't know what I'm doing or this site doesn't like me because I can't get them to show up.

Landon

Yesterday was Landon's appointment with the pediatric psychiatrist from New Orleans, Dr. Neil Boris. I've waited a long time for this and was so nervous. Nervous for what he would tell me and at the same time nervous that he would say I was crazy and there was nothing wrong with him. We were there for a little over an hour and answered a lot of questions. While the doctor talked to Jose' and I, Landon and a social worker were in the room with us and the doctor was watching Landon play with all the toys they had in there. He was watching how Landon interracted with him and the social worker. At the end of the visit the diagnosis was just what we thought it would be....Asperger's. For anyone who hasn't heard of that, it's in the Autism spectrum. Picture a rainbow and at one end is Autism which is the lower functioning end. At the other end is Aspergers. Aspergers, along with Autism, is a Pervasive Development Disorder. Here's something I read about it online.

The term pervasive development disorder (PDDs) refers to a group of conditions that involve delays in the development of many basic skills, most notably the ability to socialize with others, to communicate and to use imagination. Children with these conditions often are confused in their thinking and generally have problems understanding the world around them.

So, what are we going to do? I don't know :-(. I thought the doctor would give him a prescription for some medicine that would "cure" him. At least something that would help him concentrate in school and be able to sit still. But, he said he does not see an ADHD child with Landon. ADD maybe but that is just a side symtom of Aspergers and for some reason he does not want to put him on medication. I want to do what is right for Landon but right now I don't even know what that is. I don't know if I can keep sending him to school when I know he's not doing anything there. I know what a hard time he's giving his teachers and I don't know if it's fair to them. Should I just pull him out of school for now and homeschool him until he is older and can learn to cope with things?

We really liked this doctor and he went on and on about how bright Landon is. He said he's just as smart, or maybe even smarter, than the kids in his class but that he is just wired different and does not learn like the other kids. I won't make any dicisions now...not as long as his teachers and the school are so willing to work with him.

I'm Here

I'm here but have almost no clue what I'm doing. I have a blog somewhere else but I have a lot of family and friends here so here I am. I'm not a very faithful blogger but am going to try to do better. With my new job, football games and just life there's not a lot of time for the computer.
I'll start by posting some pictures of mi alegra familia...my happy family.

This was Stephen and I in Chicago this past September. We went with my dad, stepmother, sister, bil, niece and a couple of friends. It was the first time either of us had been there and it was such a perfect and FUN day

Me with two of my favorite men in the world...Stephen and my Dad. This was taken on my trip to Illinois to see them. Kinley...she's a peewee cheerleader this year. Kaylyn June 08 at our family reunion.
Landon, Jose' and I at Navarre Beach this past summer.
Now, let me go see if I did this right.